The timetable looms large

Isn’t it so obvious that we need a paradigm shift for life.
And there. I made the same mistake again. I spoke for you.
I need a paradigm shift for life.

Everyday of my last three months of joblessness, I have gotten up in the morning and read the morning papers with my morning cup of tea. I have watched the movies that I have always wanted to watch but never had the time. I watched and re-watched runs and re-runs of my favourite TV shows and lazed around the house till I got exhausted of lazing around. I have lived a life at my own pace. Applied at quite a few jobs. Got rejected by many of them. I rejected many of them because of the pay or the location or whatever. on the whole, I lived a little bit of this and a little bit of that, flanked with decisions that were difficult and irritating, I managed to pass time.

It was fine until I was shown the imaginary timetable of life. Get educated by 25. Get married by 26. Produce babies by 28 and another one by 30. Get settled by 30 was watermarked on the timetable in clear unmistakable letters.

I am already behind schedule by donkeys years. What am I to do? Run? Well. Where am I supposed to run to? Where is that one place where the time table does not apply? I figured sometime back that all roads lead to the same place. That everything is the same even after a thousand promises to be something else. So running, I realised or rather figured after some different rational calculations, was not a good idea. Run all you can, you cant escape Mr TimeTable.

Though, in hindsight, I should have ran.

If nothing, by running I would declared my war on this orderliness. I would have declared my leanings to chaos. I would have buried my head in the sand and probably found a new world beneath it. I should have ran even if there was no place to run to. I came to know, very late, that it is the act and not its consequence that is more eloquent sometimes.

Now I am stuck, between trying to run away and trying to abide with the time table. In the course of time people and places have left me. Things have changed and seem to have drifted to the horizon. The only thing that seems to have become bigger and bigger everyday is the timetable. Meeting the deadline is impossible. Not meeting it is sacrilege.

Until there is a paradigm shift, there is a danger that I’d be extinct.